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Kneel Where Our Loves are Sleeping.

Updated: May 26, 2023

Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation’s service. There are many stories as to its actual beginnings, with over two dozen cities and towns laying claim to being the birthplace of Memorial Day. There is also evidence that organized women’s groups in the South were decorating graves before the end of the Civil War: a hymn published in 1867, “Kneel Where Our Loves are Sleeping” by Nella L. Sweet carried the dedication “To The Ladies of the South who are Decorating the Graves of the Confederate Dead” (Source: Duke University’s Historic American Sheet Music, 1850-1920).

While Waterloo N.Y. was officially declared the birthplace of Memorial Day by President Lyndon Johnson in May 1966, it’s difficult to prove conclusively the origins of the day. It is more likely that it had many separate beginnings; each of those towns and every planned or spontaneous gathering of people to honor the war dead in the 1860′s tapped into the general human need to honor our dead, each contributed honorably to the growing movement that culminated in Gen Logan giving his official proclamation in 1868. It is not important who was the very first, what is important is that Memorial Day was established. Memorial Day is not about division. It is about reconciliation; it is about coming together to honor those who gave their all.

Memorial Day was officially proclaimed on 5 May 1868 by General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, in his General Order No. 11, and was first observed on 30 May 1868, when flowers were placed on the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers at Arlington National Cemetery. The first state to officially recognize the holiday was New York in 1873. By 1890 it was recognized by all of the northern states. The South refused to acknowledge the day, honoring their dead on separate days until after World War I (when the holiday changed from honoring just those who died fighting in the Civil War to honoring Americans who died fighting in any war). It is now celebrated in almost every State on the last Monday in May (passed by Congress with the National Holiday Act of 1971 (P.L. 90 – 363) to ensure a three day weekend for Federal holidays), though several southern states have an additional separate day for honoring the Confederate war dead: January 19 in Texas, April 26 in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and Mississippi; May 10 in South Carolina; and June 3 (Jefferson Davis’ birthday) in Louisiana and Tennessee.

In 1915, inspired by the poem “In Flanders Fields” Moina Michael replied with her own poem:

We cherish too, the Poppy red That grows on fields where valor led, It seems to signal to the skies That blood of heroes never dies.

She then conceived of an idea to wear red poppies on Memorial day in honor of those who died serving the nation during war. She was the first to wear one, and sold poppiesto her friends and co-workers with the money going to benefit servicemen in need. Later a Madam Guerin from France was visiting the United States and learned of this new custom started by Ms.Michael and when she returned to France, made artificial red poppies to raise money for war orphaned children and widowed women. This tradition spread to other countries. In 1921, the Franco-American Children’s League sold poppies nationally to benefit war orphans of France and Belgium. The League disbanded a year later and Madam Guerin approached the VFW for help. Shortly before Memorial Day in 1922 the VFW became the first veterans’ organization to nationally sell poppies. Two years later their“Buddy” Poppy program was selling artificial poppies made by disabled veterans. In 1948 the US Post Office honored Ms Michael for her role in founding the National Poppy movement by issuing a red 3 cent postage stampwith her likeness on it.

Traditional observance of Memorial day has diminished over the years. Many Americans nowadays have forgotten the meaning and traditions of Memorial Day. At many cemeteries, the graves of the fallen are increasingly ignored, neglected. Most people no longer remember the proper flag etiquette for the day. While there are towns and cities that still hold Memorial Day parades, many have not held a parade in decades. Some people think the day is for honoring any and all dead, and not just those fallen in service to our country.

There are a few notable exceptions. Since the late 50′s on the Thursday before Memorial Day, the 1,200 soldiers of the 3d U.S. Infantry place small American flags at each of the more than 260,000 gravestones at Arlington National Cemetery. They then patrol 24 hours a day during the weekend to ensure that each flag remains standing. In 1951, the Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts of St. Louis began placing flags on the 150,000 graves at Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery as an annual Good Turn, a practice that continues to this day. More recently, beginning in 1998, on the Saturday before the observed day for Memorial Day, the Boys Scouts and Girl Scouts place a candle at each of approximately 15,300 grave sites of soldiers buried at Fredericksburg and Spotsylvania National Military Park on Marye’s Heights (the Luminaria Program). And in 2004, Washington D.C. held its first Memorial Day parade in over 60 years.

To help re-educate and remind Americans of the true meaning of Memorial Day, the “National Moment of Remembrance” resolution was passed on Dec 2000 which asks that at 3 p.m. local time, for all Americans “To voluntarily and informally observe in their own way a Moment of remembrance and respect, pausing from whatever they are doing for a moment of silence or listening to ‘Taps.”

The Moment of Remembrance is a step in the right direction to returning the meaning back to the day. What is needed is a full return to the original day of observance. Set aside one day out of the year for the nation to get together to remember, reflect and honor those who have given their all in service to their country.

But what may be needed to return the solemn, and even sacred, spirit back to Memorial Day is for a return to its traditional day of observance. Many feel that when Congress made the day into a three-day weekend in with the National Holiday Act of 1971, it made it all the easier for people to be distracted from the spirit and meaning of the day. As the VFW stated in its 2002 Memorial Day address: “Changing the date merely to create three-day weekends has undermined the very meaning of the day. No doubt, this has contributed greatly to the general public’s nonchalant observance of Memorial Day.”

On January 19, 1999 Senator Inouye introduced bill S 189 to the Senatewhich proposes to restore the traditional day of observance of Memorial Day back to May 30th instead of “the last Monday in May”. On April 19, 1999 Representative Gibbons introduced the bill to the House (H.R. 1474). The bills were referred the Committee on the Judiciary and the Committee on Government Reform.

To date, there has been no further developments on the bill. Please write your Representative and your Senators, urging them to support these bills. You can also contact Mr. Inouye to let him know of your support.


Photo credits: Arlington National Cemetery

The soldiers of the 3d U.S. Infantry (The Old Guard) never rush when they place American flags in front of headstones and niches at Arlington National Cemetery (ANC) in preparation for Memorial Day.

The Old Guard leads the annual “Flags-In” event, which takes place on the Thursday before Memorial Day and also involves participation from the U.S. Marine Corps Ceremonial and Guard Company, the U.S. Navy Ceremonial Guard, the U.S Air Force Honor Guard and the U.S. Coast Guard Ceremonial Honor Guard. More than 1,000 service members take their time in placing the flags, reading the names on the headstones and connecting to those who served before them.

Before the sun had a chance to crack the horizon on May 25, 2023, the soldiers had spread out in various sections of the cemetery, their rucksacks bulging with bundled flags. As they worked their way down the rows of headstones, they placed a booted toe against each and pushed a small flag into the earth at their heel. Then it was on to the next headstone.

Some soldiers used flashlights to read the headstones in the dark. Others saluted if they noticed something particular, such as a familiar name, a similar combat unit or a gold-inlay inscription denoting a Medal of Honor recipient. “I’ve saluted three Medal of Honor recipients,” said Pfc. Tyler Morel, “but I’m honoring all the people who sacrificed their lives for our country.”

“Someone died on my birthday,” said Cpl. Joseph Harris as he pushed another flag into the ground. Spc. Chung-Tae Hong, who joined the Army from his native South Korea, looked for familiar names among the headstones. “I know some Korean names are in this cemetery,” he said. To Pfc. Cole Fayette, who has family members buried at the cemetery, planting flags means everything. “These people fought since 1775, ever since the Army was created,” he said.

“There’s a special one over there,” explained Staff Sgt. Brayden Trimble as he pointed to the back of a headstone with a large symbol. “That one’s a Tomb Guard.” Turning to the acres of headstones in front of him he reflected on the Army’s past. “You realize that this history runs deep,” he added. “It’s not just something that’s been going on for the last couple of years.” Indeed, this year marks the 75th anniversary of Flags In, which began in 1948 when the Old Guard was designated as the Army’s official ceremonial unit.

Maj. Bentley Phillips took pride in the job. “Being in the Old Guard is being part of history,” he explained. “We get to honor the ones who served.” Maj. Jacob Bagwell looks forward to placing flags every year. “When you see their name,” he said, “it’s just a little remembrance of their ultimate sacrifice.”

To other soldiers who served in combat or lost comrades to enemy fire, planting flags was personal. “It feels like I’m honoring a peer,” said Staff Sgt. James Kinney, who served in Iraq and Syria. “I recently had a friend buried here about two months ago,” he added. “It gets emotional.”

Staff Sgt. Antony Martinez visited the grave of 1st Sgt. Christopher Rafferty, who served as his first sergeant when he joined the Army in 2006, before Rafferty was killed in Afghanistan. “I didn’t deploy with him, but it was my honor to place a flag at his headstone,” Martinez said.

Command Sgt. Maj. Dennis Kirk, who lost one of his sergeant majors to a helicopter crash in Afghanistan, also planted a flag at his comrade’s headstone. To him, Memorial Day means showing Americans how the military cares for its sons and daughters. “For those who make the ultimate sacrifice,” he said, “we’re going to honor them the right way.”

Kevin Hymel Elizabeth Fraser

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