Fear of Failure.
This world is full of those who would sit back and criticize others, make snarky comments about others, tear others down or belittle their efforts. And why wouldn’t it be full of those people?
It is so easy to be one of those people. Talking trash about someone takes very little effort. Finding fault with someone takes very little effort. What takes effort is to be that person who is out there fighting the fight, giving it their all, attempting to do something with their lives – that takes effort, and lots of it. It also takes courage to be the person to put yourself out there when there is always that chance that you could actually fall on your face, especially when you are surrounded by so many of those people in the world who are just watching and waiting for you to go and try and fall just to give them the opportunity to make fun or belittle your attempt. But stop for just a moment and ask yourself this question – if I was watching the person make the attempt and the person in the grandstands criticizing them…which of those two people would I feel the most proud of? Which of those two people is the person I would most like to emulate?
For me, that is a very easy question to answer – I always want to be that person who is out there making the effort. I don’t care if that person is the one who tries and possibly fails, I just love that the person was willing to try in the first place! That is the person I most want to be in my life. There is something so noble to me about the person who is willing to try. It’s their efforts that make them amazing in my eyes. Maybe that’s because I know what it feels like to try and fail at things and I know how much inner strength it takes to get back up and brush yourself off and start again. I know how much you grow in that process and I know how much wisdom you gain going through those trials and failures and the will it takes to get back up and start again. And so I have gained a true appreciation for those individuals who choose to put themselves out there and TRY! I appreciate the EFFORT more than I care about the OUTCOME.
If I could give a gift to people it would be to help them focus on that – I would help them focus on their efforts and have them not worry about the outcomes. So many problems with people’s self-esteem or self-worth today come because of this messed up belief that it’s a person’s outcomes that defines them. That just isn’t true. 99% of the time you have no control on the outcome of a situation as there are a million other factors that come into play when determining an actual outcome. But 100% of the time you have ABSOLUTE CONTROL on your own EFFORTS in life. No one else can influence your efforts unless you choose to let them. You control your effort completely, and don’t ever forget that. Don’t worry about what “other people” might think or say or even what other people will choose to believe about you. None of those “other people” are your judge in life anyway – that is totally between you and God and I am quite certain that He won’t give a lick of attention to what the “other people” thought. He knows exactly what efforts you make and that is all that matters.
Don’t ever let yourself hold back your own efforts out of fear of what others may say or think, or fear of the unknown, or fear of the outcome not being what you want it to be. Never curb your efforts based on something like that. Go for those goals that you want to achieve the most in your life. Make the efforts to get them. And then don’ t worry about the outcome of those goals – just focus on doing your part of the effort 100% and then trust that the outcome will be EXACTLY as it is meant to be. I can tell you that I believe in that with all my heart. I truly do. I have seen it over and over again in my own life. And nothing feels better than going to bed at the end of each day being able to say that “today I gave my best effort, and tomorrow I will do the same”. You can do so much more than you have even begun to dream of at this point in your life. Stop holding yourself back for all the wrong reasons. Be that person who is down in the stadium trying and never, ever allow yourself to be that bystander up in the bleachers criticizing those who try….
The best quote on this topic is:
“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.” –Theodore Roosevelt (1910)
Today is Monday and it’s the start of a brand new week. Your challenge is to face this week without fear of failure and without fear of critics. Give your best efforts to accomplish those goals that matter most to you. Focus on your efforts and then TRUST the outcome will be as it should be!
August 12, 2012