“Haters don’t really hate you. In fact, they hate themselves because you’re a reflection of what they wish to be.” – unknown
Haters, bullies, mean people…they all have one thing in common…they all suffer from one of the following:
They hate themselves,
They want to be you, or
They see you as a threat
Think about it – “Have you ever met a hater doing better than you? Me Neither….”
There are far too many examples of haters in the world today. Our schools are full of bullies. Our political arena is full of haters throwing shade at one another. Our news broadcasts are far too full of hateful stories or angry interviews. And then there are those adults who are bullies, haters, and just plain mean people. They use profanity as their means of communication, they call people vulgar names, they make up rumors and spread gossip, and they flat out lie in an attempt to vilify others…and they do all of this because they believe somehow it will make themselves feel better about who they are. They are wrong.
The truth is that anyone who hates or bullies is unhappy and insecure…Period. Even more disturbing is that they have led themselves to believe that if they put other people down they will then feel better themselves…but they won’t. They will only sink deeper into their black hole of unhappiness because hate only begets more hate…
So what do you do if there is a hater or a bully in your life?
I learned long ago that you can’t change someone else – they have to be the ones to change themselves. You cannot fool yourself into believing that if you stay around the other person you will eventually change them. You won’t.
My father told me long ago that if you lie down with dogs you will get fleas. That is a fact. So by allowing bullies and haters to stay in your life you open yourself to catching fleas and no one should want that. You have the choice to walk away from that person and not let them continue to be a part of your life. No one benefits from allowing a toxic person into their life. No one.
For our own sake we have to forgive the haters. No exceptions. However, forgiving does not mean allowing them to stay in your life. You can completely forgive someone, wish them the best, and still choose to remove them from your life. God expects us to forgive. God doesn’t expect us to subject ourselves to abusive situations. You have the right to remove yourself from people who are abusive with you or toxic to be around.
Never be less than who you are meant to be in an attempt to please a hater. You can never do enough to make that hater happy. Happiness is a choice we all make for ourselves, no one makes it for us. So focus your attention on being the best you can be. Focus on improving yourself. Choose to be happy. And deep down just realize that your biggest haters are actually your biggest fans.
Have the strength to shut the negative out and allow all of your room for the positive. And BE HAPPY because clearly you must be TOTALLY AWESOME or no one would have hated on you in the first place.
From Amy Rees Anderson